al

ARE YOU REAL?

check the box before you jump on the site.

SCROLL — HE DOESN'T MOVE

al

THE REALEST CAT ON THE INTERNET

REAL, standing upright, bandana on, looking up at nothing in particular.

Who tf is REAL?

Nobody really knows. Businessman. Investor. Gamer. International man of mystery. REAL refuses to elaborate.

Verified
REAL's business card. Pierce & Pierce, Mergers and Acquisitions.EXHIBIT A — RECOVERED BUSINESS CARD
SUBJECT FILE — CASE #REAL‑001
STATUSREAL
OCCUPATIONYES
NET WORTHDON'T WORRY ABOUT IT
LOCATIONUNKNOWN
SPECIESALLEGEDLY CAT
KNOWN ASSOCIATESREDACTED REDACTED

“He simply appears.”

REAL in a vest and bow tie, standing on a staircase.
REAL RECOGNIZE REALEVERYTHING ELSE IS FAKEPROBABLY NOTHINGALLEGEDLYREAL RECOGNIZE REALEVERYTHING ELSE IS FAKEPROBABLY NOTHINGALLEGEDLYREAL RECOGNIZE REALEVERYTHING ELSE IS FAKEPROBABLY NOTHINGALLEGEDLYREAL RECOGNIZE REALEVERYTHING ELSE IS FAKEPROBABLY NOTHINGALLEGEDLY

The REAL Lifestyle

Collage of REAL's life: helicopters, a Lamborghini, cash, a boat, palm trees.

TAP THE PHOTO. REAL WON'T EXPLAIN HIMSELF.

Documented History

BUSINESS, 19871987

BUSINESS

THE STREETS, 19931993

THE STREETS

RUNESCAPE, 20012001

RUNESCAPE

COLOMBIA, 20042004

COLOMBIA

BIKINI BOTTOM, 20072007

BIKINI BOTTOM

$REAL2026

$REAL LAUNCHES

DATES UNVERIFIED. RECORDS INCOMPLETE. REAL WON'T CONFIRM OR DENY.

REAL standing in an old-school RPG marketplace, buying real gf.

buying real gf

Trading with REAL

REAL wishes to trade with you.

NOT AFFILIATED WITH ANY EXISTING RPG. ANY RESEMBLANCE IS ALLEGED.

The Colombia Files

1989. MEDELLÍN. REAL REFUSES TO DISCUSS WHAT HAPPENED NEXT.

CLASSIFIEDREAL sitting on a porch swing next to an associate.
DO NOT DISTRIBUTEREAL standing beside an old pool with an associate.

“I was never there.”

— REAL

real recognize real

REAL, tattooed, standing beside painted versions of SpongeBob and Patrick.

DON'T ASK.

REAL in a pinstripe suit, holding a business card.

Business is business.

REAL is REAL.

DEALS CLOSED
A LOT
CLIENT SATISFACTION
REAL
YEARS EXPERIENCE
CLASSIFIED
REAL RECOGNIZE REALEVERYTHING ELSE IS FAKEPROBABLY NOTHINGALLEGEDLYREAL RECOGNIZE REALEVERYTHING ELSE IS FAKEPROBABLY NOTHINGALLEGEDLYREAL RECOGNIZE REALEVERYTHING ELSE IS FAKEPROBABLY NOTHINGALLEGEDLYREAL RECOGNIZE REALEVERYTHING ELSE IS FAKEPROBABLY NOTHINGALLEGEDLY

Proof of REAL

SOMEBODY DUMPED HIS HARD DRIVE HERE. DRAG. DOUBLE‑CLICK TO OPEN.

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